Our core beliefs are like the lens through which we perceive the world.

If our lens is coloured by ‘I’m not good enough’, we will keep finding evidence of this being true even if it is never the truth.

‘I’m not good enough’ is painful

We are designed at the most fundamental level to go towards pleasure and protect ourselves away from pain.

Not being good enough is a pain as it risks rejection and disconnection.

We, therefore, unconsciously create protective patterns and habits to hide from and avoid this pain.

We develop unconscious coping strategies such as:

perfectionism

– procrastination

– people pleasing

– playing small in life

– denying ourself pleasure

– anxiety and overthinking

 

The paradox of ‘I’m not enough’ behaviours

We compensate from the feeling of inadequacy and constantly are looking to do more, get more, be more in order to disprove or hide this underlying belief.

The paradox is that any of those behaviours just reinforce the belief and keep us in a cycle of feeling inadequate or not as good as others.

The first step in breaking free of this limiting cycle is to realise it’s never true. Realise that you can move beyond the old belief and feel free.

Stop the judgement

The first thing we can get rid of is the word ‘good’ as this is still focusing us on a judgement rather than a realisation that we are all, always enough as we are.

Focusing to doing more and more actually feeds the core believe of not enough so shift your focus onto doing what you love. What brings you joy? How do you want to be. 

Journalling prompts:

A great way to bring awareness to how you are getting stuck and what options you have is to carve out some time to write down and explore what you need. Here are some examples:

Who would you be if you knew you are enough?

What would shift in how you feel about yourself?

What would you stop doing or stop believing if you could see that you are already enough and always have been?

What if the ’not enough’ was learnt early in life and is just a misunderstanding?

 

 

With love

Clare xx